Rant: Don’t Buy Batman Arkham City… Yet

More than any other super hero, I love Batman. He’s my favorite. He’s the best. When I play rock-paper-scissors with my kid, there’s always the hidden option of playing Batman. Batman always wins. It’s frowned upon to play Batman too often, otherwise it cheapens Batman for everyone involved. In the great party game Apples to Apples, there’s a card that says ‘Batman’ on it. When played, this card wins because Batman always wins.

TANGENT: When he was 8 years old, some relatives took my boy to see The Dark Knight against his will, and it scared the hell out of him. I didn’t find out about it until after the fact, but seriously, who brings an 8-year-old to that movie? Anyway, what was I saying?

Oh yeah, so the kid is afraid of Batman. He’s afraid of the joker, he’s afraid of two-face, and I was pissed. Fast forward to when he’s 10 and we’re discussing super heroes. I talk about the silly batman from the 60s, and he doesn’t believe me. He assumes I’ve made it all up! Minutes later I have him watching the 1966 Batman movie on Netflix and he’s laughing his ass off. When it’s done we go out and find Season 1 of 1990 Batman Animated Series, and he loves that! The point is, Batman always wins.

Do you see where I’m going with this? In Batman Arkham City, Batman is going to win. He’s going to beat up all the bad guys, buy-out all the evil businesses, and run over robots with the batmobile or something. It’s just going to happen because (say it with me now) Batman always wins. So you know how it ends. You know that the Dark Knight, will come out on top. This isn’t some Assassin’s Creed/Da Vinci’s Code bullshit, this is the Goddamn Batman. He’s going to win. So my question is, why are you willing to pay 70 bucks for the base game plus god knows what for DLC for a forgone conclusion? What are you, crazy?

Ah, but now you say “I’m not playing it for the ending! Of course Batman wins! I’m playing it for the experience! For the story!” And that’s when I start my maniacal laughter. Slow at first, but building to insane heights. And after a deep breath I say “Just as planned.”

You see, I plan on buying the game for the same reason. I plan on playing it with my boy just as I played Batman Arkham Asylum with him a few months ago. But if you’re playing it for the story and the experience, and you don’t care about the ending, then why rush out to buy it at launch, when it’s most expensive? Why give so much money to the publishers, just to have them deliver an incomplete experience that you have to then pay extra to complete? Why give them money to support their version of Project $10?

Remember what I said in a previous post about not letting the publisher’s marketing departments determine your spending habits? Well, remember it this time! Taking care of yourself in a shitty economy means making your non-essential purchases at the right times for the right prices. If you hold out for 6 months you can get the Game of the Year edition for $40 and it’ll have all the DLC, all the content, and none of the hassle.

Yes, I know waiting 6 months sucks but it sucks less than paying $60 +tax and wasting $10-$20 EXTRA on unnecessary DLC when there’s no multiplayer and you already know how the game is going to end in the first place. Ok, maybe you can’t wait for 6 months. Can you wait for 2? Because in 2 months, Steam will start its holiday sales, and you can grab the game then for stupid cheap. Hell, they’ll probably throw in a copy of Arkham Asylum for $.99 or something.

And again, don’t worry about the sales of Batman Arkham City. With the hype for the game, and the reviews it’s getting, there’s no way it won’t sell at least a million copies in the first week, and become a GoTY contender. Just bide your time with your backlog or some of the cheap alternatives I’ve mentioned before, and get the game when the Price is Right. Also, spay and neuter your pets.

Until next time, Good Gaming!

-Dan

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